Working For The Weekend

Some might say I labour under the illusion that, as a teacher, one doesn't have to work at the weekends. Except it's not an illusion because I don't work at the weekends. There are others like me. Working at the weekend at home would be problematic for me as three under-five-year-old girls also live in my house. They are looked after all week by my amazing wife and by the time Friday night comes around I have to flick the 'work' switch to off and the 'life' switch to on. My wife needs me to, the girls need me to and I need to, too. To take it further, my colleagues need me to, my class need me to, my boss needs me to - if I haven't recharged my batteries at the weekend then work suffers as well.

So, how is this possible? 

Firstly, I recognise that I work in a supportive school with leaders who I know I can talk to if things are getting too much. When I was at interview for my post, I made them aware of my family situation - they took me on knowing that my whole life wouldn't be committed to the job, and they weren't empty promises. I am provided with a good amount of time to get work done within school hours, but just as all teachers find, it still isn't enough.

However, analysing my current situation, I think, could perhaps help one or two others. For example, I know weekends are out-of-bounds. My deadline for the week is Friday home-time, and all being well, work won't resume until Monday morning (apart from those times when I re-plan a whole lesson in the shower on Saturday morning). What might help you to avoid weekend work?

Deadlines

Deadlines are widely acknowledged to be an important aspect of productivity. What would happen if you set a similar deadline to the one my family dictates? If you've ever known an event was going to stop you from working at the weekend, then you probably got done what needed doing during the week, then enjoyed your best friend's wedding or your partner's birthday weekend away, possibly even returning to work on Monday feeling relaxed (even if you did get that Sunday-night feeling as you thought about another busy week ahead).

Routine & Busyness

I recently visited a physiotherapist who prescribed a few exercises which are to be completed three times a day. In the week, at my busiest times, I do every set of exercises. At the weekend, when I have loads of time to spare, I do one set at best. What's the difference? Routine and busyness. When I'm busy, I get more done as part of my daily routine. At less busy times, like the weekend, I am less productive. Using up those spare bits of time during the week can reap you the benefits at the weekend. You're probably more likely to be productive in those short time slots, in amongst the busyness of doing other jobs, than you might be at the weekend after you've had a lie in, a leisurely coffee and have neglected to get dressed!

Focus

I have to focus in order to be productive. To get more done in less time I have to do one task at a time. If other things are going on then I am distracted and take far longer to do things. Many teachers plan with the TV 'on in the background' (guaranteed not to be in the background, but in front of them!) - this one, I'm sure is down to personal preference, but removing all distractions (such as the TV) may just help you to cut down on work time. I'm convinced the work/life balance doesn't mean doing both at the same time, rather it means doing one, then the other: some work, then some play. 

My pastor always says 'If you don't book it in, you book it out!' and it is true; booking in time on the life side of the balance is a better way to ensure you get it. By making deadlines you are carving out time for 'you' (and your family, friends, hobbies etc), which is essential for your wellbeing. By using time during the week whilst you're already caught in the momentum of busyness you will achieve more. And by dedicating time to work without distractions you will be more productive. Any one of these time-saving methods could be employed alone, but together they are a powerful formula for beginning to avoid weekend work.

This video (The Science of Productivity) has some more great tips for how to get more done in less time:

What Does Pixar's 'Inside Out' Teach Us About Teacher Wellbeing? Part 2

Riley: I... I know you don't want me to, but... I miss home. I miss Minnesota. You need me to be happy, but I want my old friends, and my hockey team. I wanna go home. Please don't be mad.

Mom: Oh, sweetie...

Dad: We're not mad. You know what? I miss Minnesota too. I miss the woods where we took hikes.

Mom: And the backyard where we used to play.

Dad: Spring Lake, where you used to skate.

This is the finale of 'Inside Out'; the dialogue is accompanied by many an animated sad expression, a healthy number of tears and it culminates in a big family hug. Apparently Dacher Keltner from the University of California, Berkeley, 'helped revise the story by emphasising the neuropsychological findings that human emotions are mirrored in interpersonal relationships and can be significantly moderated by them.'  However, the film heavily emphasises how we self-regulate our emotions and focuses less on the part that human interaction plays in influencing how we feel. For the purposes of the movie's concept this is forgivable but in real life if we shunned social interaction and relied on self to keep sane, I dare say we would find ourselves in a mess.

There are enough moments in the film where Riley and her parents help each other to overcome difficulties: sometimes by being 'goofballs' and acting like monkeys, and other times by playing hockey with a screwed up ball of paper or suggesting shared experiences to cheer each other up. And these are the moments I'd like to reflect on with regard to our own wellbeing.

I'd like to direct your attentions toward Benjamin Zephaniah's poem 'People Need People'. There are three verses, but here is the first:

People need people,

To walk to

To talk to

To cry and rely on,

People will always need people.

To love and to miss

To hug and to kiss,

It’s useful to have other people.

To whom to moan

If you’re all alone,

It’s so hard to share

When no one is there.

There’s not much to do

When there’s no one but you.

People will always need people.

In my previous post about 'Inside Out' I discussed how the exercise of a full range of emotions is good for our wellbeing. If this is happening then it is inevitable that there will be visible manifestations alerting others to our feelings. And when we spend time with friends, colleagues or family most of us hope that they will respond to the visual clues and ask us how we are feeling. And if you don't display your emotions, and the people around you don't notice when you do, then your wellbeing is in peril.

Benjamin Zephaniah suggests we need people 'to cry and rely on' and to moan to! 'Inside Out' shows us that once you have allowed emotions like sadness to manifest that healing actually begins when other people respond to it. Don't be afraid to let others see you in what you perceive to be weakness. There is actually great strength in admitting to others that you feel weak. Only when you admit it can you begin to become stronger, and so often that happens with the help of a best friend, spouse, partner, sibling, mentor or work mate. In those around us there can be found a wealth of experience, knowledge, and most importantly kindness, care and love. And we all need a bit of that, don't we?

For teachers it is important to identify those people in all areas of your life. Who knows you well? Who knows how much energy your pour into your job? Who has perhaps experienced the strains of the changing face of education and made it through the other side? Who do you know who appears to have a good work/life balance despite having a busy job? Who do you know who will just give you a cuppa and then sit and listen to your woes, without belittling them or waving them aside? Find that person. Actually, find a few; one in each setting you find yourself in. Find someone at work, find someone at home, find someone at the end of the phone line, and on Twitter. Wherever you are, know the people who can help you. And then talk. Make them aware of your emotions as part of day-to-day life. Not just when all comes crashing down. It's probably worth reminding yourself when you find those people that your range of emotions should come into play: if you feel happy, talk about happy things. If you feel scared, talk about what's scaring you. If you feel calm, tell them. Don't just moan. Or cry. Or rely.

And then there is your part of the deal. A relationship is two-ways. When the family's removal truck doesn't arrive, Riley cheers her parents up. When Riley sets out for her first day at school, her parents cheer her up. No matter how broken you are, you can still be a support to others. At times you might take more than you give, and vice versa. Who are the people in your life who need you? As teachers we are expected to care for the wellbeing of the children we teach and we can't escape from that - they need us. We all have colleagues; for those who are leaders it is part of your role to see to their wellbeing. We are duty-bound to moderate the emotions of those around us at school and if our own wellbeing isn't in check, we risk being ineffective in this area.

Benjamin Zephaniah reminds us in his poem that we need to live our lives with other people, sharing food, relaxing in company, learning from and playing with them. He says that other people can put us at ease and make life more appealing. 'Inside Out' reminds us that family and friends help us to deal with difficulties better than we can on our own.

For a case study in how talking about feelings helps, please read Numpty Teacher's blog post How I Stopped Drowning

What Does Pixar's 'Inside Out' Teach Us About Teacher Wellbeing?

Joy. Sadness. Fear. Disgust. Anger. The five emotions that Pete Docter and Dacher Keltner decided govern each of us. Maybe that's unrealistic but it is Pixar; suspend some disbelief. Whilst your doubts are hanging up there, consider the question: what can we learn from 'Inside Out' about our own wellbeing?

The film's lesson (obvious spoiler alert) is that Joy cannot be the sole controlling emotion and that other emotions have a part to play in our wellbeing. At the beginning of the film we see Joy rushing around, taking a lead and trying to keep the other emotions in check. The other emotions rarely get a look in (sounds ideal, right? A life full of joy?) Then worrying things start to happen - Joy instructs Sadness to stand in a 'circle of sadness' so that she can't influence the feelings of Riley, the main character in whose brain the personified emotions reside. Eventually Joy realises that to deal with the problems Riley is facing, Sadness needs to take the reins. Joy's epiphany comes when studying a happy memory of Riley's family and friends consoling her: "They came to help... because of Sadness."

I suppose it's prevalent in psychology: feelings shouldn't be suppressed. When all the personified emotions in the film do give up trying to control Riley, a blackness descends on the brain's control centre: the beginnings of an absence of emotion - depression?

Advice about dealing with workload and the pressure of teaching that focuses on just thinking positively is usually sneered at, and for good reason; it hardly seems productive. It seems that the advisor is condoning suppression of all emotions other than joy. The positive advice that is coupled with practical steps to take is much more productive, but if still only focuses on joyful emotions it can easily miss the mark for those struggling with other feelings.

Writing this I am well aware that my previous advice could be seen to fall into the aforementioned categories. This post is another step in my journey into understanding how I, and others, achieve a good work/life balance and emotional wellbeing. One day, maybe I'll understand and be able to truly help others. I digress.

My question, prompted by an enjoyable Boxing Day afternoon movie, is this: can free expression of all emotions have positive impact on wellbeing? And I ask this particularly with teaching in mind. 

Can expressing anger about ever-changing goalposts relieve stress? Could allowing the fear of change in education to be in the driving seat help one to feel better? What about letting disgust at your SLT's latest time-consuming bolt-on initiative be your primary emotion for a while? Is just being sad about a profession that you once really enjoyed actually constructive?

'Inside Out' would say yes in answer to all of those questions. The film's conclusion goes further: the protagonist's memories are coloured depending on which emotion was prevalent at the event. By the end of the story Riley's memories become a cocktail of colours - each memory is multi-emotional. It is possible, and natural, to simultaneously feel more than one emotion. It is possible for aspects of teaching to enrage us at the same time as experiencing joy in another part of it. Whilst feeling joy about a breakthrough with a struggling child we may also fear the unknown of the next week with them. And, so, 'Inside Out' says, we will be happier if we allow all of our emotions to steer us and to help us make decisions. Perhaps happiness, contentedness, positivity and optimism (and ultimately, wellbeing) can be found in experiencing the full spectrum of emotions and in not regarding any of them as unhelpful.

What seems strange in the film is that out of the five emotions, we would traditionally only see one of them as a positive emotion: joy. All the others (anger, disgust, fear, sadness) we would immediately think of as negative. It looks like joy will always be overpowered, fighting a losing battle. But what the film portrays so well is how Joy works alongside the other emotions, not so that the main character is always joyful, but so that she always feels well, even when she eventually cries in her sadness. After the crisis, it is the moment when Sadness takes control that Riley feels best.

Sadness explains, "Crying helps me slow down and obsess over the weight of life's problems." Perhaps we do need to allow our 'negative' emotions to stop us teachers from ploughing on regardless because 'we have a job to do, so let's just get on with it.' Maybe anger, fear, disgust and sadness, alongside joy, can make us stop and think and lead to us eventually being well.

These are musings from someone who knows nothing of human psychology - please don't judge too harshly, but please do engage on this. Point me towards research. Tell me your own experience. I'd love to think more about these issues.

Postscript:

I have since found an article that does my blog post, but better. I should have researched what had already been written!
Inside Out Shows Wellbeing Isn't Just About Chasing Happiness
The bit about 'Emodiversity' is particularly enlightening.

Family First?

"When's Daddy coming to my Christmas play?" asked my five year old daughter on more than one occasion. "He has to go to work darling, so he can't come."

When I had children I resigned myself to missing out on some of these little moments. Having the school holidays, not having to travel for work and sometimes being able to come home for tea time seemed like a fair trade for not being able to do the school run, go to presentation assemblies and attend end of year productions.

As it has happened, with the odd difference in days off between my school and my daughters', I have had the privilege of picking them up from school and seeing the eldest presented with her 'Pupil of the Term' certificate. Teachers are kind and have allowed us the last parents' evening slots so I do feel a part of their school life.

But the Christmas show wasn't to be. Or so I thought. At the end of the penultimate week of term the head pulled me aside, asking why she'd not had a request from me to go to see my daughter's Christmas show. Inside, crushing emotion and self-disappointment welled up. I'd let my little one down. She had wanted me to come, and I could've gone if only I'd asked. I had unnecessarily prioritised work over my family. My voice cracked as I tried to explain why I hadn't asked.

The happy ending is that, as a result of my boss's prompt, I went to my middle daughter's nursery Christmas show and it was lovely - Christmas really began that day. I had checked with my super-understanding five year old and there were no hard feelings; she is sweet enough to be able to be excited for her younger sister even when it might not seem fair. So, No.2 and I shared giggle fits during one of the songs and I smirked as she spent a whole number rearranging her star outfit, complete with full-on hands down skirt moments. Family came first that afternoon. And I got to miss the SLT meeting: Christmas bonus. 

And what have I learned? Well, it was a reminder of how to prioritise. I have a kind boss who cares for the wellbeing of her staff and who, despite not having children of her own, understands the importance of family. I should have known that I could at least ask. Not everyone is fortunate enough to work for such a leader. I have a family at home who need me and deserve my best. My job is important, but actually my own flesh and blood are more important. Really, I'm essentially doing my job because of them - so that I can support them financially. But their needs are more than just that. They need my time too.

I don't think I'll be suddenly leaving school at 3:25 everyday to get home to them, or even automatically assuming that I can take time off work to go to every school event, but I will consider my family more in the decisions I make regarding how my time is spent.

This was re-blogged on the TES blog on 11th December 2016 entitled '"Daddy can't come to your Christmas play, he has to go to work"': https://www.tes.com/news/school-news/breaking-views/daddy-cant-come-your-christmas-play-he-has-go-work